Wednesday, October 27, 2010

a song im working on....will re-post when its finished

so this is a lil something im working on....if you have any ideas of how to improve it let me know as this is a very rough draft of it!

v.1
The smile she wears on her face, is just a smile
It has no meaning, she wants to hide so you can’t see
All the hurt that’s going on inside
There is nothing wrong when the smile is on, or so the world may think
She puts on a mask to keep people out,
So they don’t see her heart in shattered pieces all over the floor

v.2
the silent thoughts running through his head
“you aren’t good enough, no one likes you” so he worries..
He goes to all the parties, getting whatever he can,
In fear of losing his friends he does what they say,
Drugs and alcohol running their course through his system
Nothing helps, he still feels broken, hurt and alone

-chorus-
Learning the roles of the masks is an easy task
Many faces, many moods, a different mask to cover them up
Going weeks without taking them off, beginning to believe that they
Might actually be me rather than merely just a facade that you see.
Yet meanwhile, my true self hides, lying dormant within.
Isolated and forgotten.


v.3
The pastor’s daughter, who is broken inside, has suffered so much.
The cuts on her arm always have an explanation
But they are never the truth. The razor blade brings relief
But no one would ever know.
They see her and see the Princess she was raised to be.
When she’s not alone, she’s got it all together but little do they know..

v.4
he’s scared to be real so he puts up a wall
to ashamed of what you would think if he was honest
so he keeps it all to himself , wanting you to know the truth
not willing to be vulnerable so he shuts you out
secretly wishing that he could spill it all, he hides
behind the ‘tough guy, aint no body gonna break me’ attitude.


-chorus-
Learning the roles of the masks is an easy task
Many faces, many moods, a different mask to cover them up
Going weeks without taking them off, beginning to believe that they
Might actually be me rather than merely just a facade that you see.
Yet meanwhile, my true self hides, lying dormant within.
Isolated and forgotten.

-bridge-
Rather than bringing me closer to myself, I push it all away
All these masks alienate me from who I really am.
I don’t want to live this charade I want to be myself.
God help me remove these masks that I wear
Being the real me doesn’t mean I’m giving up
Rather I’m pushing forward to where I can truly be free.

embracing our brokenness

ok so today in chapel the speaker was talking about how we need to embrace our brokenness. there was a few of us students that were talking to the speaker about being authentic and how it is hard to be that in a christian bubble, where it should be the easiest place to be open. even tho we talked about it yesterday, it hit me so hard today. we have this community of believers that we can rely on to help us bear our burdens but we dont often use it. i know for myself it is so hard to be completely authentic with other people because im scared of what they will think of me. i often act like i have it all together when im torn inside and dont know how to deal with whats going on. and the speaker was talking about how we often say that we are being broken, but really we are just coming to the realization of how broken we really are. it is a good reminder especially for me, that even tho i can act like i have it all together and people can think that i do because of how i act or what i say, that God knows the truth. he sees the depths of my heart and he knows all about my brokenness and what it will take to be healed.
its often hard to find that person(s) that you can be totally real with, but i know for the sake of getting through it all, i need to find mine.